The math behind the unearthly hour
***********************************Background***************************************
Our Insti has this mailing list called "student notices" which can be accessed by the Deans to send public messages to the students regarding insti policies, research opportunities etc. It used to be very quiet and useful till our first year when we used to get about 1 mail on it in a month on an average (or it didn't even exist, but that's just a technicality). Also, the DoSA referred to in this blog post is not a south Indian food item.
*************************************************************************************
Since 2008, the DoSA has wrought havoc on student-notices by spamming irrepressibly. This mailing list, though intended for the dissemination of institute policies and emergency holidays (read Swine Flu), was (mis)used by many of the institute's various student bodies (sorry to say I was one among them), and thus was born the "events" mailing list so that anyone and everyone can spam hundreds of mail boxes at will.
But this was not sufficient for the holier than thou cult (again, I have nothing against you guys) council which continues to send emails via the DoSA about theater fests and cultural nights. And more recently, even the security office joined in the bandwagon. Just two days ago our inboxes were flooded with innocent looking emails titled " Rules relating to motorized vehicles, I-cards, etc. " We did get a reminder of the normal rules of motorized vehicles and I-cards but the 'etc.' was extremely amusing. It read:
"
7. Roaming/sitting in dark or isolated places with opposite sex during unearthly hours.
All the above acts are unwarranted behaviour on the part of the student
community. Students are warned not to indulge in such acts. If found
indulged you will be fined."
This raises some eyebrows:
Let's take our batch for example. There are 36 girls among 500 odd boys. Assuming a "committedness" rate of 60% among girls (yes, does sound absurd considering this is IIT we are talking about, but what the heck) that makes the number to about 22 happy couples in our batch alone. Let's say about 30% of these guys are out on a given night and 80% use dark and isolated places. That takes the number further down to about 6 happy couples. Now, what is the point of spamming 500 mail boxes of people just to catch (?? what was the point of it really?) 12 people who don't use earthly hours to sit with the opposite sex in dark or isolated places? I personally feel this as a slap on my face. The DoSA mocks me saying "look you idiot, others are capable enough of Roaming/sitting in dark or ... unearthly hours and you can't even talk to a female." and then I empathise with a certain Rajesh Koothrapali and feel the infinite urge to blog.
Following this outburst from the DoSA, many wannabe cool doods have decided to have a peaceful protest, the times and dates etc can be found from any brain-washed person. And more importantly I don't see any of the "roaming/sitting..." junta among them. They hardly ever care about such non-sense. This, according to me is an election gimmick and in all probability someone among these will stand for GS cult. (I am supporting the protest btw, I am an attention whore after all)
The misuse of student notices crossed all limits when we got a mail from the security office "advising" us to use the footpaths and not walk on the roads as it causes problems to the "traffic". It appears that the security section has nothing better to do but to harass innocent students. Here are a few reasons why this email was non-sense:
1. The foot path is very small.
2. The foot path exists only on one side of the road.
3. Cows and random bull fights cause more traffic disruption than students commuting to classes.
Here are somethings that the security office must really do:
1. Ban all autos which refuse to go outside the insti.
2. MANAGE THE FUCKING TUM TUMS so that people don't have to wait for unearthly time periods for a ride.
3. Restrict cow/bull motion.
Well, extrapolating the frivolous use of the Dean's mails, I project the following email to appear on student notices in a couple of days time:
Dear Students,
Off late it has come to my notice that students are using excessively foul language and it irks everyone around them. It is to be noted that such behavior is not warranted from the student community and anyone caught exclaiming expletives shall have his i-card confiscated and a fine will be levied according to the following rules.
(a very long list on swear words and the corresponding fines)
God save the dean.
Our Insti has this mailing list called "student notices" which can be accessed by the Deans to send public messages to the students regarding insti policies, research opportunities etc. It used to be very quiet and useful till our first year when we used to get about 1 mail on it in a month on an average (or it didn't even exist, but that's just a technicality). Also, the DoSA referred to in this blog post is not a south Indian food item.
*************************************************************************************
Since 2008, the DoSA has wrought havoc on student-notices by spamming irrepressibly. This mailing list, though intended for the dissemination of institute policies and emergency holidays (read Swine Flu), was (mis)used by many of the institute's various student bodies (sorry to say I was one among them), and thus was born the "events" mailing list so that anyone and everyone can spam hundreds of mail boxes at will.
But this was not sufficient for the holier than thou cult (again, I have nothing against you guys) council which continues to send emails via the DoSA about theater fests and cultural nights. And more recently, even the security office joined in the bandwagon. Just two days ago our inboxes were flooded with innocent looking emails titled " Rules relating to motorized vehicles, I-cards, etc. " We did get a reminder of the normal rules of motorized vehicles and I-cards but the 'etc.' was extremely amusing. It read:
"
7. Roaming/sitting in dark or isolated places with opposite sex during unearthly hours.
All the above acts are unwarranted behaviour on the part of the student
community. Students are warned not to indulge in such acts. If found
indulged you will be fined."
This raises some eyebrows:
Let's take our batch for example. There are 36 girls among 500 odd boys. Assuming a "committedness" rate of 60% among girls (yes, does sound absurd considering this is IIT we are talking about, but what the heck) that makes the number to about 22 happy couples in our batch alone. Let's say about 30% of these guys are out on a given night and 80% use dark and isolated places. That takes the number further down to about 6 happy couples. Now, what is the point of spamming 500 mail boxes of people just to catch (?? what was the point of it really?) 12 people who don't use earthly hours to sit with the opposite sex in dark or isolated places? I personally feel this as a slap on my face. The DoSA mocks me saying "look you idiot, others are capable enough of Roaming/sitting in dark or ... unearthly hours and you can't even talk to a female." and then I empathise with a certain Rajesh Koothrapali and feel the infinite urge to blog.
Following this outburst from the DoSA, many wannabe cool doods have decided to have a peaceful protest, the times and dates etc can be found from any brain-washed person. And more importantly I don't see any of the "roaming/sitting..." junta among them. They hardly ever care about such non-sense. This, according to me is an election gimmick and in all probability someone among these will stand for GS cult. (I am supporting the protest btw, I am an attention whore after all)
The misuse of student notices crossed all limits when we got a mail from the security office "advising" us to use the footpaths and not walk on the roads as it causes problems to the "traffic". It appears that the security section has nothing better to do but to harass innocent students. Here are a few reasons why this email was non-sense:
1. The foot path is very small.
2. The foot path exists only on one side of the road.
3. Cows and random bull fights cause more traffic disruption than students commuting to classes.
Here are somethings that the security office must really do:
1. Ban all autos which refuse to go outside the insti.
2. MANAGE THE FUCKING TUM TUMS so that people don't have to wait for unearthly time periods for a ride.
3. Restrict cow/bull motion.
Well, extrapolating the frivolous use of the Dean's mails, I project the following email to appear on student notices in a couple of days time:
Dear Students,
Off late it has come to my notice that students are using excessively foul language and it irks everyone around them. It is to be noted that such behavior is not warranted from the student community and anyone caught exclaiming expletives shall have his i-card confiscated and a fine will be levied according to the following rules.
(a very long list on swear words and the corresponding fines)
God save the dean.
Comments
By the way, I would want to sit in the Dean's chair for a day, and see how it feels (like the movie Nayak).
And yeah students' notices was irritating!